Walk a Mile in My Nikes

I live in the suburbs. I live next to one of the communities that has repeatedly has been selected as one of the most desirable places to live in the country - Naperville, Illinois. The city I live in Aurora wasn’t a suburb, but Chicagoland has expanded to us and past us. It almost reaches DeKalb at this point, some 50+ miles from the Loop.

The suburbs have gone from being the place to live to a much maligned location. We are bad for the environment; we burn gas at a ridiculous rate. Our carbon footprint is mythic in size. Our homes are too big, life is too artificial, we are too consumer oriented, we are too busy and isolated. Arrogance and assumption are the hallmarks of our lives. We are obsessed with status. We drive SUVs and minivans everywhere and anywhere. We have programmed our children to the point they cannot even breathe. The suburbs are the essence of excess.

Okay, fine, guilty as charged. So now what? Are we all going to rush to live in the city? Are we going to run out to the country and live in the small hamlets that dot the landscape? No. We are not going away. The suburbs are not fading from the land. And if you have any missional mindset this is where it is happening. You want to rough mission field, come on out here. Go into the city you see need everywhere. You have poverty and drugs and marginalized people every where. Turn around and there is a need. Come to the suburbs and you will discover poverty, drugs, marginalized people and abuse. Whatever the city has we have. We just hide it. We bury beneath a veneer of nice lawns and beautiful homes. Alcoholism is the same in a three story walk up or 4000 sq.ft. home.

You want to create an authentic ministry, build it out here where every one hides something. You want to develop disciples sold out Christ come out here and build into lives that work too much and commute 90 minutes in one direction. Teach servant hood to those who measure their lives by the initials attached to their names – CEO, COO, CIO, CFO. Here is where the need is, we just lie about it. We pass people who are dying of loneliness in the McMansions wondering why their kids hate them. We wave at people with addictions and self destructive habits. How many cutters live in the Southside of Chicago?

It is easy to parody the suburbs. We are an easy target for disdain. We are also seen as the cash cow for the urban ministries that are doing the “real” work of the kingdom. I applaud those ministries and gladly support them, but do not think for a minute that the urban path is the hardest road. Come out here and see what God can do in this realm. Here is where creativity and endurance and faith are daily essentials. Come on out here where the Kingdom of God is truly needed.

I have one but I don't know why.

This is the age of the Web 2.0 or something towards that effect. I am still trying to get my hands around the web 1.0. I am still trying to be effective in gathering inform and dealing with blogs.

But now I am sticking my toes into the waters of the social networks on the world wide web. I have Linked In account. I have page my Facebook, I think I still have a MySpace account but I can't remember and I have not looked at it for well over a year. Everyone once in while someone will invite me to be there friend or they want to put me into their network. I say okay and then I never hear from the again. I have be encouraged to Twitter, no thanks I am no where near that interesting. I don't know what to do with these things.

What do these new services do for us or how do they benefit us? How do these social networks work? What connections do they make and how do they enhance our relationships? Are these substitutes for the real connections which are messy and elusive? I know that saying these thing my fogey quotient goes up, but I am serious. Are these social networks simply tools to help us connect with one another for business and recreational purposes or are these now the way we build friendships? Are we trading face to face for Facebook?

If you have any answers let me know, all I have are questions.

And then it was done

I have a daughter-in-law. I am an in-law.

The wedding is an accomplished fact, it is in the books and it is now a memory rather than an anticipation. It was fun. Really, it was fun. Was there stress? Sure. Were there some glitches along the path? Yeah. But it was exactly what it was supposed to be, what I had hoped for.

The wedding was a gathering of people who have touched Erik and Jessa's lives. Aunts and grandparents, family friends, friends they have known since they were kids, friends they came to know in the college years. It was the panorama of their lives. Cousins met cousins - friends met friends. There were even the vivid memories of family and friends who have died. Andy was there. So was Herb and Ruth.

There were words of promise and support, words of joy and longing, of releasing and receiving. And there was the Word made flesh who stood in the midst of us. It was a rite of passage. There was the honor performing the ceremony with my father, three generations all together binding two lives into one.

It wasn't about colors or food or strands of lights or flowers or any of other details that seems to take over in the weeks and days prior to the event. It was hugs and tears and words of joy and love. It was about touching and talking and laughing and crying. It was watching and remembering and hoping.

It was good. And what is more, the best is yet to come.

T - 4 Days and Counting

The EVENT is almost here. We have about 80% of the punch list accomplished and more things seem to crop up with every day. More people tell me that they are coming. I am honored and thrilled for my son and his intended. It speaks volumes that they would drive that far to come.

Sue, my bride, is spending every free moment making Swedish Love Knots for the rehearsal dinner. I have been trying to send pictures for this thing they are putting together. I guess there must be ohh, 200 pictures that we have scanned and e-mailed off to them. The I included is my favorite.

Strip everything else away and this is an amazing event. Leave off the decorations and dresses and clothes for the guys, the dinner, the reception, the 8 attendants (yes 8 of them, on each side), what you have is two people who come from hundreds of miles a part who find each other and decide that they want to create a family together. That they have what it take to withstand all that life will bring their way. Keep your eye on that and this event is indeed a miracle.

Payers and Doers

At lunch this week the subject of home repairs came up, and one of the men there said that his Dad told him that there two types of people in the world, payers and doers, and he was a payer. Well he nailed it.

I was raised as payer but have been converted to be a doer. If a socket needs repair I do it. If the toilet needs new guts, I do it. If it involves drywall, painting, ceiling fans, sump pumps and other items I do it. Once it goes beyond the 3 elbow grease level well then I give in and return grudging to payer status.

Churches have the same dichotomy. Some are doers and other are payers. I have served doer churches where they had far more time than money. I currently serve a payer church where time is the precious commodity and if repainting walls or taking down wall paper is necessary we hire the job out. One is not better than the other. But the culture in each is different. Standards are different when everyone is expected to grab a paint brush. Expectations are higher when you hire professionals to do the task.

This also impacts the realm of ministry. There are something you ought not to hire and there are other times you may need the professional touch. It takes wisdom to knows those moments.

Who is next in line?

It seems that the birth of the emergent movement came through the pain caused by fundamentalism and the evangelical church. At least that is the story. I accept that, it is easy to see. I have been hurt and have hurt enough people over the years that it more than reasonable to agree with that.

My only question is what will be born out of the pain caused by the emergent movement? The one thing it seems we excel at is causing pain. Not intentionally or sadistically. Apparent we come by it naturally. So to expect that the emergent movement will be immune from this trait is unrealistic. They may not cause pain in the same way as their predecessors, they will find new ways to hurt others, but they will hurts someone. Again not intentionally, but it will happen.

What's my point? What is our response to this? How should we react to one another when we do hurt each other? It is clear that our current methodology is not working. We shun each other or point fingers at one another failings. The one thing we have not is forgive each other or attempt to understand one another - or even give one another the benefit of believing their desires and motives are for the best. That those in the traditional or fundamental or evangelical churches can love Jesus and their fellow human beings just as much or as passionately as those in the house or emergent or whatever comes next churches.

I am not sure that this is what Jesus had in mind when he prayed that we would be one as he and the Father are one. We can do better. We have to.

A New Hero

His name is Randy Pausch. He is a professor at Carnegie Mellon University in virtual reality. He is dying of Pancreatic Cancer.
What brought him to my attention is his contribution to a series being offered at CMU called "the Last Lecture". If you had one lecture to give before you died what would it be. His has been captured. It is powerful.

You can see it here: http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/.

The only conversion you will hear about is that he recent purchased a Macintosh computer. I can't remember how I got turned on to this,. but he caught my imagination. He is courage and realistic. He knows he has less than a year to live. BAck in October 2007 he thought Christmas was a 50/50 shot and you shouldn't but him anything for Father's day.

CBS and ABC and others have heard his story and shared it. Listen and learn.

St. Brendan's Prayer

Shall I abandon, O King of mysteries, the soft comforts of home?
Shall I turn my back on my native land, and turn my face towards the sea?

Shall I put myself wholly at your mercy, without silver, without a horse, without fame, without honour?
Shall I throw myself wholly upon You, without sword and shield, without food and drink,
without a bed to lie on?
Shall I say farewell to my beautiful land, placing myself under Your yoke?

Shall I pour out my heart to You, confessing my manifold sins and begging forgiveness,
tears streaming down my cheeks?
Shall I leave the prints of my knees on the sandy beach, a record of my final prayer in my native land?

Shall I then suffer every kind of wound that the sea can inflict?
Shall I take my tiny boat across the wide sparkling ocean?
O King of the Glorious Heaven, shall I go of my own choice upon the sea?

O Christ, will You help me on the wild waves?

I have no feelings!

We had another one of those conversations in our office again. Mother's Day is coming soon and we are getting the annual barrage of products to hand out all of the Moms to let them know that we truly care. Just as we are to make an order for things that rarely make it out of the church someone raised the issue of sensitivity - what about those who want to be Mom and can't? Or who have a bad relationship with their mom? Or what we then give the Dads? (As far as I am concerned a nice screwdriver or sleeve of balls would be just fine thank you. Just don't give me a schmaltzy bookmark.) So after an awkward and uncomfortable silence we then decide to not do anything like that. Having raised the banner of sensitivity we also saved some money.

Conversations like that test my patience. I understand the need for sensitivity, but come on, everyone is not included in everything! We have this ministry at church called Apples of Gold - it is older women mentoring younger women. I don't get to play, so what. Other opportunities come along. I can create my own. I do not have to always be included. Some people are moms others aren't. Just because some aren't we penalize those who are?

My friend Don at his most excellent blog www.jibstay.blogspot.com takes issue with a praise song "In Christ Alone" for using the word "man" in referencing all of humanity. Okay I understand, some what - they used "man", they weren't inclusive. Most women I know aren't inclusive. yes I know I am a white male. We have been on top for centuries, 1000's of years. It is our turn to be on the bottom. Okay fine. I know we are supposed to be kind, inclusive and going the extra mile. But can't we expect a little insensitivity on the part others?

I mean does every little comment have to evoke a reaction? We are not going to be included every time. That is just fine. I am 52 year old chunky white guy. I am not going to be welcome everywhere. There are places where I am too old, and other places I am too young. No problem, I am good with that. Let's numb up a little, get a little thicker skin. So someone uses the wrong pronoun once in while or doesn't have the right or correct vocabulary. Let it go. Life is too short.

Just a Thought

“Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13)

In the Bible there are 26 times we are told to stand firm. One of the verses that impact me when ever I read it is Ephesians 6: 13 – “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” My task is to stand firm, to stand for the gospel. Courage is not always in charging off to do battle with some enemy, often it is standing in the face of the danger or of the battle. Often it is just standing your ground.

I am pictorially oriented. I tend to see things in my mind. But images of standing firm are not of those of powerful warriors with ripped arms holding their weapons with confidence. When I visualize standing firm it is someone quite ordinary, with armor that does not fit quite right and there is little confidence in their stance. This is not a spiritual super hero; this is ordinary guy who because of Jesus does extraordinary things. I see people like you and I. People who have more than enough on their plate just to make it through the day. It is to ordinary people that Paul and Jesus give this charge- stand firm in the faith, be courageous; be strong.

Our world is infatuated with larger than life people. We love our American Idols, we love those people are who are wildly successful; we follow those people who seem to be more than we are. But it is the ordinary people that achieve the most extraordinary things. Jesus didn’t give this task to the stars, he gave them to us. Confidently he gave them to us. So on Monday stand firm, on Tuesday be courageous, on Wednesday be strong, on Thursday be on your guard and then repeat again and again. It is what we. It is who we are. In Jesus, always in Jesus.

How does this help?

When does a protest help an issue and when does it hurt the issue? I understand the issue of China's behavior in Tibet and in Sudan. I understand that the abuses to human rights is severe and that China often exacerbates the issue rather than improving it. I get that. I know that giving the Olympics to China was controversial because of their behavior and record on wide spectrum of issues. But what does accosting the flame do for the issue?

What does being so disruptive in France that they had to transport the flame by bus do for the causes? Is that going to make China behave any better? Is grabbing the torch out of the hand of someone who is not even Chinese going to make the situation in Tibet more tolerable? A day before three people climb up the Golden Gate bridge to unfurl a banner about one world one something or other... Okay sure we get to hear about the issues more. But we have heard about them repeatedly.

I am not disparaging protests, but the protest ought to make sense. Does anyone protest France for the suffering they have caused? England for the abuses in its history? Let's not even add the USA. How does protesting the flame make things better?

T - 17 Days and Counting

In 17 days my oldest son is getting married. Awesome, great, it is going to be a terrific day. They will make a great couple. Jessa is his heart match and they are going to have wonderful life. The next 17 days though are going to be a wild ride. I am just the father of the groom, and in the wedding food chain I come just below the book attendant. I cannot imagine going through this with a daughter. (Yahweh in his wisdom knew I could not be a father of daughters - he gave me three sons. Tom, you have three daughters, bless you.) I have been fairly disconnected with the wedding preparations, fairly intentionally. But having watched and listened from the sidelines I have observed a few things. (Now I must make a confessional, having performed over 250 weddings - I lost count a long time ago -they are not my favorite things. Not even in my top ten. Yes I am jaded.)

• Weddings take on a life of their own. Oh you can plan for a simple one but that dies a quick death and the train takes off. Details multiply like guppies.
• Reasonable sane people do unreasonable insane things. Seriously who cares about the color of ink? Pockets or no pocket on shirt? Okay.
• The work to results ratio is way out of balance. You plan for a wedding for months if not a year. It consumes your thinking, it devours your resources, it last may be - what - 45 minutes? Yeah, yeah, yeah you have the reception and the all the stuff before hand. Okay great - 10 hours tops! You have at least 10 - 15 hours of prep work for every hour of the event. If you don't enjoy the journey the results will look too small and some how there wasn't enough - something.
• We have lost sight in our culture of what a wedding ought to be. It ought to be family and friends gathering and celebrating the creation of a new family. It ought to be about the relationships and not the event planning.

Now I will say Erik and Jessa have been very reasonable in their standards of preparing for this wedding. It is going to be fun and it is going to be over too quickly. But wedding excess has infected our land and it not going to go away any time soon.

The High Holy Holidays

Once a year these days come. Once a year you hear of Magnolia Lane, Amen Corner, blazing colors of flowers and patrons. Once a year you get to see Augusta National. Once a year it is time for the Masters.

Oh that was a great game last night with Kansas winning the NCAA tourney. Oh sure you can have the Super Bowl, so what - it last only 3 hours. Yeah you have the World Series, a possible 7 games, but it might not last, and some of the ball parks, ugh. Oh, oh yeah you have hockey...... never mind. This is the Masters, the first of the Majors, the tournament from Bobby Jones. Jack has 6 green jackets. Arnie has four. Eldridge has four. may be, just may be he will get a fifth.

This is the one tournament where there are more people at the practice rounds than during the actual event. This is the one tournament when the roars from the crowd can be heard all across the grounds. This is Masters week. And it is good. Tiger tees off Thursday at 10:45am EDT. Gary Player tees off at 8:44 am for the 51st time. Amazing.

The Masters, a tradition unlike any other.

Signs of the Apocalypse

In Waycross Georgia nine third graders have been suspended and three of them arrested for planning to attack a teacher for revenge. Apparently the teacher reprimanded one of them for standing on a chair. They brought handcuffs, a knife and a paperweight to hit her with. These are THIRD GRADERS!!! The plan was sophisticated enough to have one of the students cover the windows of the room and another one to clean up afterwards. See the story here: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-teacherplot2apr02,1,7655480.story?track=rss

What in the wide world of sports is going here? These kids range from 8 - 10 years old and they are planning to injure if not kill a teacher. There was the usual line in the story that indicated that none of the youngsters had a track record of being in trouble. Well they do now. They have gone to the head of the line!

So how do you respond to such a thing? What do you say to the parents, the teacher who was the target, the community members? Do you let them back into the room? I am not sure I would. Can you imagine assigning those children to their 4th grade room? Who wants to have Billy in their class, he promisesd to the leave the handcuffs home? \

Oh Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

Persistence = Annoying

They call at least three times a week. They are always start off like they are our friends. We keep telling them no, but they are persistent. They argue with us, they try to convince us, but we keep telling them no, we are not going to switch our phone service. I do not care what kind of deal they can give for the short term - it ain't happenin'. But they keep calling. And calling. And calling. They could give us free phone service for life and I wouldn't take it. They just won't go away.

Persistence is a great quality until it passes over into the annoying range. When someone does not want your services let it go. Someone else is going to do the job. We use another phone service, we are not going to go without phone service, we just don't want AT&T. it is the same with church life. People leave the church, people come and visit and they don't stick. People who have been with a church for years, decades even might leave because something has changed in their lives or in the church. They leave. That is just a reality in the American church. So we pursue them, we call, visit or e-mail them. We make good faith effort to convince them to come to us or stay with us. But if it doesn't work, them let them go. Wish them well, pray for them and let them go their way. They will land at another church.

Or if you are looking for a volunteer for a position and you ask and they say no, great, no is a good answer sometimes. Don't circle back and keep asking them. You have their answer and let them find their place. I am all for tenacity. I like Galatians 6:9 (Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.) but sometimes if you pound on something to long or too hard the harvest you get is not what you were looking for.

Let's take a lesson from the playbook of AT&T, there are times when persistence = annoying. Oh great, they are calling again!